Being a mom looks hard

I had to call a parent this afternoon. I busted a one of my kids for vandalizing a picture in the Assistant Principal's office while we were taking the state math test. (I test in her office b/c of a space shortage come test time). I don't really like calling parents. I think the thing is that I wish I called home more often with good news so that I wasn't only calling with the bad. Regardless, mom had to know.

When I called, mom said that she was actually having a pretty tough time with her kid. He isn't a jerk, but he is 11 and is starting to push the limits. (The jerks start doing that around age 7) She told me he has been lying and she caught him steeling and she doesn't know what to do with him. Once she started talking, it all came tumbling out. Her mom is terminally ill, she doesn't know how to tell the kids, they're acting out at home. She is crying on the phone. I'm just listening. She said she was thinking about calling me, but hadn't gotten to it.

Mom had a total breakdown. She had been carrying all of this heavy mental shit around, coping, trying to make things work and they just weren't working. Shit, we've all been there before. I have no idea about losing a parent or raising an adolescent kid, but I know the feeling of Ugh why isn't this working? which is what I had to identify with in our conversation. I reassured her that she is doing a good job with her kid (she really is) and offered to put her in touch with some counseling agencies, which she appreciated.


When I got off the phone, I was reeling with how much this woman opened up to me. My initial thoughts were you know I'm half your age, don't have kids, and have never dealt with any of the stuff you are dealing with, right? But none of that mattered. She needed someone to listen, needed reassurance and a little bit of help and I could provide that. Our conversation ended up being so much more than about the incident earlier that day. I'm really glad I called.

Orchid Show

Today I had another science workshop at the Botanical Gardens. Far less interesting than the others, this one was on sticks n' stuff. Observing them. Um. It's brown... and long.... Lucky for us though, the Orchid Show was going on in the Conservatory and our instructor let us into the exhibit for free. Holy Moly! These people know what they are doing. The flowers were bountiful, beautiful, vivid and totally thriving! I am still bewildered at how the botanists (I think that is what the plant people are called) keep such a wide variety of plants alive, and not just alive but perfect. 

I can see your reproductive organs!

Many old people and huge cameras.

These aren't Orchids, but are very cool.

Looks like an architect traced the vein skeleton of these w/
a fuchsia marker. 

See spot blossom.

This Gardenia smelled SO good. It was right at nose level too,
so I just stood there for a few minutes sniffing it. 

Took this one for mom :)

Super cool. I almost bought one, but then realized that they only
live in bogs. I'm not really interested in making a bog in my
living room. 

This is the Jade Vine Orchid. I think it looks
like elves shoes. I also think it is kind of ugly.

Grande Finale of the exhibit. Talk about a chandelier!

Click on the picture and look at it close up. Gorgeous.

Waipio

YPO. The letters really help in learning how to say this one. Weds was really hot, so went straight from work (weeding rows of Kava plants all day) to Waipio to go swimming.

Getting there was a trip in itself. We went down the steepest paved hill (ever? in the country? I'm not quite sure, but it was like nothing I've ever been down.) The road was a trial run for the Peace Corps in 1976 before they went abroad. I guess it was a success? At times, it looked like we were going to fall off the front of the mountain. When we got to the bottom, we drove along a river under a thick canopy of trees toward the water. The tree tunnel opened up between two green cliffs onto a black sand beach with dark blue water splashing up on it. AMAZING!

Whatever the temperature that you think water should be, it was. Refreshing. Playful. Exhilarating. I felt like a golden retriever at the park :)